Friday, August 21, 2020

Only Oblivion to Look Forward To Finishing David Foster Wallace

Only Oblivion to Look Forward To Finishing David Foster Wallace My fingers tap the spines of my books, working from the top left corner of my TBR shelf to the bottom right, pausing occasionally to slide a book from its spot before returning it a few seconds later. They always stop at David Foster Wallaces Oblivion, the last story collection he published. Its been there for more than a year now, passed over time and again. Im sure I heard the news of Wallaces death on or shortly after September 12, 2008. While I had read only one of his short stories, it was obvious that a big part of the reading public had been devouring every word this man had to offer. I clicked some links and found a few of his essays and some nonfiction and began to feel like someone hearing Nevermind for the first time in May of 1994. Where had this been? How had I missed it? And so I set about un-missing everything I could find with his name on it. Yes, the commencement address, of course. An essay collection. The doorstop, with an insufficient dictionary beside me. A book of short fiction (and its film adaptation, just to see how they thought theyd pull something like that off). And so on. I would finish a book and then scour the internet for DFW-related flotsam and jetsam, watching bits of interviews on Youtube, reading profiles and old reviews anywhere I could find them. Id found a voice that challenged, enthralled, and changed me, that alternately put things exactly as I imagined I would if I had the linguistic capacity and as I would never think to put them at all, and I wanted more. But all the while, that finite point on the horizon that had been invisible when I started loomed larger and larger. I began to take longer breaks between Wallaces books and slowed way down when I actually read one, savoring every page-long sentence and footnote along the way. I was able to stretch his work out over five years, but  Oblivion is finally coming off the shelf. In a weird way, this feels more like his true death to me than his suicide ever could have, because Wallaces work has given me the illusory impression that I know him. For five years, hes been with me. Ive taught his work to my students and pushed his books on friends. I even wear one of those little rubber bracelets, given to me by a teacher from South Carolina, that reads, THIS IS WATER DFW. Ive read the mans  syllabi a half-dozen times, you guys. The phrase, I believe, is bought in. Hook, line, sinker. And now Ive come to the end. Maybe it all sounds a little melodramatic, the language of obsession and talk of true deaths, but the ones who burn out, who dont get their chance to fade away, have that effect on us, dont they? Yes, I can (and will) re-read Wallaces work. Maybe all of it, at some point. But if youve ever felt jealous of someone who is reading a book you love for the first time, then youll understand me when I say it just isnt the same. Because whats weird is that we book nerds say we want to be well-read, and we do, but like children desperate for Christmas mornings arrival, we forget how empty December 26th can feel. There is a magic in the anticipation of a favorite authors next work. In fact, I would argue that one of the great privileges of being a reader is getting to experience that exact feeling. So yes, finishing David Foster Wallace is both bitter and sweet, but I cant pretend that reading my way to this point was anything other than the latter. Thanks, Dave. For five of the best reading years I could imagine. For confronting me. For making me think. For sending me to the dictionary. For lobsters and cruise lines and tennis academies and rehab facilities and diving boards and hideous men and John McCain and Jeopardy! and water. Thanks. ____________________________ Sign up for our newsletter to have the best of Book Riot delivered straight to your inbox every week. No spam. We promise. To keep up with Book Riot on a daily basis, follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, , and subscribe to the Book Riot podcast in iTunes or via RSS. So much bookish goodnessall day, every day. Sign up to Unusual Suspects to receive news and recommendations for mystery/thriller readers. Thank you for signing up! Keep an eye on your inbox.

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